To Pain

Here you are again
My constant companion
Why do you have to be here?

Did you bring Fear with you?
I hope you did not
He is a terrible adviser

Stay a little longer
But do not linger
I am too busy for you

I expect you sometimes
And tried my best to keep distance from you
Yet you’ve been a good friend to me

You are intoxicating
And you weaken me
Yet you give me strength

Come today
But leave tomorrow
See you soon


To Peace

Photo from
Photo from

Why do you always leave me?
Why not linger?
I have searched for you everywhere
I’ve tried a thousand ways just to see even a glimpse of you
Nights came when my desire for you grows ever stronger
My pillow had been wet of tears in your absence
And I have failed to see you

I looked for you in different people
Wondering if they could give me a clue of where you are
Sometimes you are in a form of child
A child born in a manger
A man hanging on a cross
In total silence
When bullets cannot be heard anymore
When people of total difference could finally be friends
In a sleeping baby
In the knowledge that your family is complete and safe
In the very eye of a storm
In the sound of a lullaby
In the arms of the one you love
Or in ending a relationship
Or even after a last breath is given

Your memory is always in my mind
I have faint images of you
And I do miss you a lot
You are a thought
A thought that ignites a yearning inside me
A yearning to find you
I believe that I will never stop to look for you
And my days will be spent in constant search for you

Come to me
Stay by my bedside
Warm me in the cold of the night
Comfort me and give me hope
Hope that you will come
And stay longer

So many people in this world looks for you
Some people even fight for you
Yes…the world needs you
Just like the world needs food

Come to us
Stay by our homes
Warm us in the cold of the night
Comfort us and give us hope
Hope that you will come
And stay longer

To Love

When the gong resounds
and my Maker says to you,
“Awake, thy sleep is over.”
Then thou will be free
and on God thou will rejoice.

When the gong be silent
forever hold its peace
and my Maker says to me,
“I am your husband.”
then I will be free
and on God I will rejoice

I’ll sing you a lullaby
I’ll rock you to sleep
I’ll wait in silence
I’ll enjoy our Creator

My heart, my eyes,
my spirit, my mind,
is stayed on God,
my lover, my knight.

So sleep and rest,
that’s what you
ought to do the best.

To Lust

To touch, to hug,
to feel, to kiss,
to share the heart
and fill the longings of it.

To sneak, to hide,
to fear, to lie,
to crush the heart
and steal the purity of it.

To cry, to die,
to hate, to break,
to kill the heart
and take all the life in it.

To you, to me,
to Him, to us,
to guard the heart,
and tame the beast in it.

To God, to Spirit,
to Jesus, to love,
to give the heart,
and take control of it.

The Man from another world

The Man from another world
I have found a Man whose heart burns with Love
He came from a world far from my world
He has the smell of a thousand flowers
His lips are made by a Smile of Happiness
He has soft skin, softer than silk
Yet he is made of the strongest gems inside

I fell for Him and gave him my heart
He gave me words, words I never thought existed
He was my ink, my pen and my melody
Once I had been an infidel, almost lost myself
Yet He Loved me, even gave me respect and honor when I’ve lost them
And He Loved me even more…

I’ll never be the same because of him

Then I’ve learned how he could be broken, broken because of Love
The Man also Loved another
Everything was lost
Then…suddenly, he came back to his world
And Distance has won
Love has left me and I cannot Love anymore, not even myself
Yes, I’ve forgotten what Love is and cannot define it anymore

I have become a creature unknown of the greatest powers and wonders of Love
I am filled with passion and yearnings of life but without Love

The Man is a memory, a memory which marks
My history, my now and what will be
I wish for the Man a Love
I wish to come to him and offer him songs
Songs to make him asleep in tender tunes
Melodies to heal him
Let him rest, let him sleep

To Music and Singing

Never has melodies
And words been such a
Not until now.

They used to comfort me
Accompany me in my pains
My sighs
They were.

They hurt my ears now
And my hands
My throat
And I flee from them if I could.

No words
No melodies
Can offer any relief
In my sorrow.

I am..
And grasping for air
Never has it been like this.

How can I have forgotten
Something that I used to do
Night and Day
And with all my strength?

My heart has no song
It is but an empty sheet
It blabbers
Useless sounds.

Him and he

“The dinner is off”, I said to him
I felt a little pain gripped my heart
There was pain because I turned him down
The dinner won’t happen
And might not happen

him…the thought of him gives me strength
Strength to be who I want to be
he is like Him
Him…the thought of Him gives me strength

I wanted to wait
To be invited by him to a dinner someday
And I will say Yes

I’ll be at rest, with Him
As He carry me across the dance floor
Eyes only on me
Filled with passion and wildness

Him…whom finds me captivating